youth ministry and parents

My friend Brando Reed posted this the other day on his blog (http://brandonreed.wordpress.com/) ...great thoughts...

My friend and colleague in student ministry was telling some other pastors around a conference table just the other day that his father prayed with him only one time outside of praying with him around the dinner table. Being in student ministry, I have seen more parents shirking their God given responsibility of “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Because of the lack of moms and dads fulfilling the responsibility and calling of parents, many parents turn to the Youth Pastor at the local church to “fix” their teenager, or to provide opportunities and events that “shelter” their student, leaving the responsibility of teaching and training their children Scripture to the youth pastor. This couldn’t be a more un-Biblical issue that many Youth Pastors face and embrace.

First, student pastors embrace this because many student pastors see parents as a threat to good student ministry. How could this possibly be Biblically sound thinking? In talking with other student pastors, or as some would rather be effectually called “The Youth Guy,” I have heard over and over again; “If it weren’t for the parents, student ministry would be a lot easier.” Really?? Student pastors regularly embrace the idea that more sweet programs or events will bring more kids to church, and the whole time, parents sit back and applaud. That is, until their student messes up at school, or at a party or even with a member of the opposite sex.

Problems in student ministry arise when student pastors and churches embrace the idea that they should keep parents at a distance.
“To have a biblical framework for student ministry, we must shift our ministry framework to match the emphases the Bible places on the family and the church” (Steve Wright, ReThink, Inquest Publishing). We must see that the primary responsibility of discipleship and training in righteousness to the family.

“Hear, O Isreal: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, ESV).


Paul writes, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord“ (Ephesians 6:4, ESV). A list of verses for you to look at: Psalm 78:1-7, Proverbs 1:8-9, Malachi 4:6, Luke 1:17, Proverbs 22:6, Psalm 127:1-4, Proverbs 4:1-11, Colossians 3:20-21, 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12. “The responsibility for raising spiritual champions, according to the Bible, belongs to the parents. This is not a job for specialists. It is a job for parents” (George Barna, Revolutionary Parenting, Tyndale).

Youth Pastors, quit pushing parents away and quit doing what God has not called you to do. Point parents who have troubled teens or teens that are struggling to Scripture. Challenge them to have a time of family worship which they can pray together, study God’s word together, and grow together.

Parents, quit looking to other people to fix your children. Start fulfilling God’s call on your life. It is your responsibility to train your children. You cannot change your child or fix their condition of sinning (Eph 2:1, Romans 3:10-12). Begin leading them to the cross and pointing them to Jesus, “the founder and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2).


Great thoughts, we have to be a partner with parents. We have to come along side of them and give them some tools to use as they invest in their kids. Sure we will also minister to kids who have horrible homes but we can not fail to invest in those who spend the most time with them kids, the parents. The reason we podcast all our messages at relevant is so that a mom or dad can join us in the discussion! It just works when we partner with parents and support them. Great writing B!

2 books you need to get!

Just wanted to get these too books out to you. The Dip by Seth Godin and Crazy Love by Francis Chan have been great reads for me. Both are just great reads, go get them, read them s quick as you can! I think you will like them. Francis is an incredible speaker and pastor who helps take a look at what loving Jesus really means in our everyday life. The book is very blunt but very encouraging for all of us who love Jesus but struggle to live that out daily...that would be all of us. The Dip takes a look at how to quit doing things that rob our time and energy so we can focus on what we are best at. Yes it is all about the art of quitting, when to quit, why to quit and most of what to spend all your energy doing everyday. Most of us could use some quitting advice. Great short read!

This week Clarksville lost an incredible follower of Christ. Our loss is heavens gain since Kathy Majors is now spending every moment with the passion of her life. I met Kathy because her son Jacob plugged into Relevant Student Ministry (http://www.relevantstudents.com/). What I discovered about Kathy was that she was known as a person who had dedicated her life to prayer! That was her legacy in Clarksville and around the country with people who were her friends. As I sat in the funeral I could not help but be astounded at the idea of being known as a person of prayer, a man who actually spend his life talking to God on behalf of other people. Think about what you will be known by when you die? What will be your legacy? Kathy spend her life doing something of eternal significance. I am so thankful for all the times Kathy prayed for me, Grace Community Church and all the other ministries and people she was passionate about. Clarksville will miss Kathy and I pray that God will help us all seek him more in prayer everyday. If we follow Christ we have to follow his lead and spend time talking with God. Lets go for it.

missing GCC...

Yea, it is odd. I miss church, my church, the church i work at, the people I serve God with. it is pretty cool to go to camp with a bunch of high school students and miss being away. Usually the week away is good for me but as I traveled last Sunday to camp I just missed being a part of what God was doing in Clarksville through GCC. Just a funny feeling. Oh and here was our group pic from bigstuf. We had an amazing week and God did some amazing things in our hearts. Thanks to the bigstuf team for helping our kids encounter God. The picture below, what can I say...HIGH SCHOOL CAMP...enjoy!

day 4 from bigstuf...

It has been an amazing week and God keeps blowing us away with how incredible He is. Day 3 and 4 were not different for us here at bigstuf. Many times I am not sure what makes the most difference in a teens life...the relationships, the teaching, the fun, the music, the time alone with God? Not sure I can put God in a box on this one. When we get away and focus on connecting with God and with each other change begins to happen. There are so many little things that have connected for us about who God is and how he is working in our lives. All the guys hit waffle house last night, we are going to race go carts today, we all went crazy at the beach. So many time these times together are minimized but real connecting happens. Doing things kids like to do and joining them in their world works, amazing. Our team has been able to invest in some incredible teens. It has been a great week. we leave in the morning and we get to gather for one more gathering tonight. I know it is going to be amazing to meet with God all together once more tonight. This is the last post from bigstuf but here are 2 more pics...

bigstuf day 3, amazing

Something happens at Bigstuf when we start spending time with God, alone, one on one, no band, no speaker. Just us, God and the Bible sitting in the middle of creation. On Day 2 we always have our first time to get away before the night service and spend time with God. There is something amazing at watching 1,000 people spread across the beach and just talk to God...alone. This is just a pic I snuck in so you could understand what is happening here. When we are with God he changes us, he shapes us. It is hard to contain or explain but God begins to change who we are. We went right from this time alone to a time where we gathered and united together to encounter God. Stuart Hall led us to confront the idea of living a life of truth. Living life not embracing the practice of constant deceit. We all do it, we all lie. We know we should not go there but it makes life seem more controllable. We looked in the Bible where Jesus said, "let your yes be yes and your no be no" and it helped us understand Jesus led us to a life of truth. Once again the most significant time of the day happens when we meet in small group and this was no different. I was wild for us all to get to share in small group what was going on in our hearts. This is a significant week for so many here.


The beach - it was amazing...we also made a midnight run to Walmart and Sonic, YES camp is better with SONIC. If you want pictures they are on the way, for now just imagine lots of icecream. Tonight more surprises and more pictures

day 2 from Big Stuf (www.bigstuf.com)

Day 2 here at Bigstuf camp in Panama City and our first day on the beach and it has been nothing but glorious. Yes, i know not everyone can be here on the beach but hey, someone has too and we have a bunch of high school students who are loving it. God has really been setting the table through Jared Herd and Stuart Hall here speaking and band leading each session we have been in. Our small groups met last night and got off to a great start. You never know how God is going to work in the hearts of kids at any camp but the theme is BROADCAST and we are asking each other what we are broadcasting with our life...simply said what we cling too the most is what we broadcast with our lives. It would be amazing if our teens could come to love Jesus and see what happens. We will see...


Just a few crazy things. We have a camp mascot, a pickle that Nathaniel Edmonson bought at a store. Yes, I said it a pickle. This morning it went to the session and ad its own seat. I will give ya a picture to check out. It is amazing, we are inspired. We also entered the volleyball tourney this year and something HUGE happened. We scored 2 points, still got beat, but we scored. CAN YOU SAY AMAZING! In three years we scored our first 2 points, year one we got shut out, year 2 we dd not enter, year three we score 2, year 4????what could happen. Keep praying for us as we are gone, we need it for sure...

memorial day weekend...

When you live in a military town memorial day takes on an entirely different meaning. We are blessed to be able to live alongside families who serve our country and protect our freedom. I consider it an honor to call many of these families friends. I have been blessed to get to know teens who watch their moms and dads go to Iraq for a year at a time. Every day the reality of war is present in Clarksville and we live knowing that our friends are standing in the gap for us here in the States. When i think about ti all i can say is thanks. Thanks to the families who sacrifice, thanks for helping this world be a better place. Make no mistake, the guys we have deployed around the world fight because they believe in America, what America stands for. They fight for their sons, daughters, wives back home....for their future. Someone has to look evil in the face and do something about it, many of my friends do just that. Thanks.

Today, this weekend. We had a great Sunday at GCC. Chelsea's family came up and I got to play golf with my father-in-law at Swan Lake. We were going to take all the kids (our 2 and my in laws adopted 4!!!!) to the water park in hopkinsville on Monday but, well if you live in Clarksville you know about the rain. We still had a great day here at home. I stayed off the cell, hung out with the family and still managed to cook a steak tonight. Memorial Day is meant for the grill and when the rain stopped I made it happen. Great rest before the busy summer hits. First camp of summer is next week. It is gonna be a great summer, get to be a part of some great stuff for students and get ready for fall at GCC. I sense God has some huge stuff for us to experience this year.

http://thebeardedwonder.org go check this out!

hope all are doing well! It is memorial day weekend and I am chilling with my family in shelbyville trying to get away for some rest. I was just Clay has the sweetest beard in the universe. Big Beard is amazing. Go check out his blog. http://thebeardedwonder.org/

If you know me you know I have been influenced, mentored from afar by books and teaching by Andy Stanley. here are som great quotes on our team found from Andy recently...just read and think...

To reach people no one else is reaching we must do things no one else is doing

The next generation product almost never comes from the previous generation. Must be a student not a critic.

What do I believe is impossible to do in my field but if could be done would fundamentally change my field.

Pay attention to the people who are breaking the rules.

When your memories exceed your dreams the end is near.

Don't let success or momentum over shadow your vision. Keep the vision out in front.

Go clarksville! make some news baby!

Got into work this morning and Jeremy Chandler came into he office and told me about a report on the best and worst cities to raise a family in...not a good way to start the day if you live in Clarksville.

Here was the top ten places to raise a family...by the way i used to live in #2!
1 Honolulu, Hawaii — Schools spend almost $9,000 per pupil, unemployment ranks less than half the national average, and you can play on the island of O'ahu's 125 beaches.
2 Virginia Beach, Virginia
3 Billings, Montana
4 Columbus, Georgia
5 San Diego, California
6 Des Moines, Iowa
7 Minneapolis, Minnesota
8 Madison, Wisconsin — Madison has a high number of pediatricians per capita.
9 Colorado Springs, Colorado
10 Santa Rosa, California

Ok, great but they forgot to mention that in most of those cities the idea of having a one income family and not living in the ghetto is almost impossible. The crazy thing was Clarksville was rated the worst place to raise a kid in because of per student education spending. Numbers never say it all, we have great schools, great teachers and this is a great city. I am a little biased, I love Clarksville, love this city and at least people can afford to buy a house here and still put gas in their car or go to the movies! The other thought is, who would not want to raise their kid in Hawaii??? it is paradise, what kind of crazy study is this!

Here was the list of cities (top 10 wost to raise a kid in)

The 10 Worst Places to Raise a Family (from best to worst)10 Springfield, Missouri9 Dayton, Ohio8 Corpus Christi, Texas7 Flint, Michigan — Country's highest violent-crime rate6 Columbia, South Carolina5 Waco, Texas4 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania3 Fayetteville, North Carolina2 Beaumont, Texas — Long-standing air-quality challenges 1 Clarksville, Tennessee — Low educational spending: $6,729 per student

Go Clarksville! make some news!

here is the link for this study - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24713234/

what is a good day...

What makes a good day? What makes a day a success or failure? I am beginning to discover that the best days are not consumed with getting my list of tasks finished but rather packed with paying attention to opportunities with people. Yes, one on one conversations...yes the kind that mess up a schedule and keep productivity low. Yes time away from my planned activities. Spending a few minutes with a team member at work that needs direction on their project. Jumping on the trampoline with my daughter. Making my mind be fully present in a meeting and not drifting to the next task I need to work on. Hanging out with someone who pops in the office to talk. Taking time to head to an unplanned lunch with a friend who needs to talk

So many day I get to the end of these people packed days and look at my list of stuff that I needed to accomplish and feel failure. In reality I was just responding to the opportunities God put in front of me. I just feels like I am off track with my plan but I have valued what God values supremely...people. I can not get over how much God loves us, He loves people. God has called me to love Him and love others. I Corinthians 13 talks about love, and what love looks like when aimed at others. If that is love then I have to be living that out to those God places in my daily path.

Its messy but it might be the greatest investment...the people investment. well, got to go and catch up on other TASKS...yea they still have to be done.