5 Ways to Set Your Volunteers up to Thrive

Volunteers...chances are the ministry you lead is filled with them and you need to know that a healthy volunteer team leads to a thriving ministry. Your volunteers need to be set up to make the biggest impact possible. You may not know it, but you play a huge role in that process. Instead of complaining about what your volunteer team is not doing make sure and process how you are setting them up to thrive while serving. Here are a few ways to set your volunteers to do big things in the ministry you lead...

• Communicate consistently >> Make sure you are giving your team the info they need at the right times in the week. The right information can free a volunteer to lead with confidence.
• Celebrate what matters most >> What is celebrated will be repeated. Make sure you and recognizing behavior that you want repeated and integrated into your culture.
• Give your team the needed tools to succeed >> Fight to give them what they need to accomplish their mission.
• Do what you say you are going to do >> Building trust means that you follow through with the promises you have made. Work hard at delivering on your commitments.
• Give away significant opportunities >> Make sure your volunteers are actually able to do challenging and rewarding ministry. You want leaders not chaperones!

Healthy volunteers can make a huge difference in the ministry you lead. How are you trying to set your volunteers up to thrive?

Best Fathers Day gift ever!

Today is probably one of the best days of my life as a dad. Today I get the honor of baptizing my youngest daughter Kelyn. She is 6, she loves Jesus, and her faith is simple but profound. Kelyn became a follower of Jesus a year ago and we have been helping her find clarity over the past year. Today is just the day she gets to share her faith with her church family at Grace Community and she is pumped...so is her Dad. Both my daughters love Jesus, love the church, and support their mom and dad as we serve as pastors. I am so blessed to know both of my daughters know the Father who will never fail them. I am also blessed to be their dad and help them grow into the young women God wants them to be. As a dad I am just going to keep letting my girls know God loves them, I love them, and they are the most beautiful girls in the universe!

Lessons from 16 years of marriage!

Chelsea and I just celebrated 16 years of marriage. I know it's crazy. We got married in college and were both 20 and it was the best thing that ever happened to this dude. The past 16 years have been an amazing journey as we have grown up together. We spent 7 years without kids and enjoyed every minute of that time. We also have 2 amazing daughters now that amaze us every day. We have survived college and grad school and at least one of us hopes to never go back (me of course). We have experienced amazing highs and unbearable lows as we have tried to honor Christ with our lives. On top of all of that we have had the privilege of serving 5 churches filled with incredible people. I am so blessed to have been given 16 years with Chelsea Bayne! After 16 years even a man can learn a few things so here are a few lessons I have learned...

• Communication is the secret sauce in marriage. / Communication leads to intimacy and trust. Guys you better learn to communicate if you want a marriage that works for the long haul. 
• Marriage is better when I do my part around the house. / This took a few years but our marriage is better when we partner with work around the house. This is our home, we need to make it the best it can be together.
• Enjoy every moment, there are no guarantees. / I have watched too many of my friends watch their spouse face sickness, military deployments, and crazy accidents that turned everything upside down. Every day is a gift. 
• Have fun. / dates matter, vacations matter, laughing matters, accomplishing goals matters...have fun being married. Life is too short. 
• Pursue Christ together. / Jesus....chasing after Jesus solves so many issues that come up in marriage. Serving together, praying for each other, studying the Bible, living out the teachings of Jesus...that makes a difference in marriage. 
• Parent as a team. / Working together to parent makes sure your kids get the best of both of you. Parents who unite have a better shot of raising healthy kids. 
• Dream big dreams. / Goals put some adventure into the ordinary. Goals also helps us maximize our time and resources. We want to make sure we accomplish great things together. 
• Drop the American dream. / New cars, bigger houses, and more stuff don't lead to a better marriage. We are trying to work hard to not fall into that normal trap...it's happening all around us so it's hard to avoid. 

Merry Christmas!

Just got back from taking my family to see the Nashville Predators play some hockey. We won and it for sure helped me embrace the Christmas spirit. The next few days are going to be packed with busyness for most of us. Our team at Grace Community is getting ready for three packed out Christmas Eve services along with balancing all our family stuff. In the middle of everything going on the next few days I am praying all of us who serve in churches across the country will not miss what really matters at Christmas. Jesus. Simple as that, it is Jesus. Slow down, enjoy the time with your friends and family, and celebrate what God gave us on Christmas morning.

Speaking of slowing down. I'm going to shut it down for a few days here on the blog and take some time off from writing. I am taking the week after Christmas off to hang out with family and I need to turn my brain off for a few days. I wanted to say thanks to everyone who read this blog in 2011. I'm honored that anyone would read my ramblings. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! See ya in 2012, can't wait to see all that God does!

Thanks...

Thanksgiving week is a natural break for my family. All fall we have been going 100 miles an hour and for one week in November we get to slow down and celebrate a time where we stop and give thanks. 2011 has been a defining year for our family. Both our girls are in elementary school now. Chelsea came on staff at Grace Community and she is wrapping up her graduate degree in school counseling. God led me to stay focused on student ministry and stay anchored in our church and our community. Our family is thankful. We have watched God constantly guide us and give us strength for the next challenge. In a few hours we will hop in the car and head out of town to spend some time with family. Before we hit the road I wanted to just process what I am thankful for this year and some people I'm thankful for...here goes...

• My girls...wow I am blessed with three amazing women who live at my house! Chelsea and our daughters Kelyn and Kozbi are such a blessing. I am so grateful God allows me to be husband and dad to these women.
• God's grace...it's amazing that God keeps coming after me and shaping my life. I'm thankful to serve a God who does not give up on me or the people around me.
• Our team at Grace Community...every week I get to work with some of my best friends. I get to hang out with some of the most amazing volunteers in the universe. I get to lead in a church where God is changing lives. 
• Our teens at Relevant...I'm blown away by the teenagers relevant student ministry gets to invest in each week. I'm so thankful that we get to be an influence in their life pointing them to Christ.
• Our Relevant alumni living life all across America...yea it's so cool to get to watch formers students make a difference for Christ on their college campus.
• Leaders who read this blog...I really do enjoy writing and I am blown away that student, kid, and family ministry leaders across the country would even give this time of day. Thanks for reading and thanks for serving the next generation.
• Leaders who have invested in me...I have been able to meet some many amazing next generation leaders in 2011 and build some great friendships. So blessed to have people out there who are helping me be a better follower of Christ and leader.
• My Tennessee Vols and Tennessee Titans are still fighting to get better...yea it has been a long football season for me but my teams are still trying to make a bowl and the playoffs. You know I had to talk about football somewhere in this post!

Praying you and your family have a Happy Thanksgiving and that you have time to process what you are thankful for this year. Slow down and embrace some time to just be grateful.

FAMILY communion

We celebrate communion at our church several times a year as a church family, and we also make communion available every week for people who want a weekly experience. Our family ministry team wanted to find a way for kids who were Christ followers to be able to share in communion on those Sundays that were church wide and that idea is what led to our family communion area in Cross Street. This Sunday we created an area for parents and kids to share communion together. We left instructions for the parents and empowered mom and dad to have a moment of remembering with their kids. We also had one of our family ministry staff team stand by the area to answer any questions. Not every parent made the effort or felt the need to participate but many did. It was so incredible watching families remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us together. It was powerful to watch kids and parents pray together. As family ministry leaders we have to continue to find ways to help parents and kids share signigicant spiritual experiences together. For our team, family communion is just another experience that connects faith and home.

Ministry and My Kids

Balancing family and ministry is a constant struggle for parents in ministry. Chelsea and I both have leadership roles at Grace Community Church and the demand for us to balance home and church has become even more important. There are times both of us have responsibilities that take us away from home and from our kids and we signed up for the challenge. God has called us to serve His church and serve our kids and He is passionate about both. If God is for both then as parents we can be passionate about both and be effective at both. The other day my youngest told me that she loves church. My oldest is already volunteering at the age of 8. Both our kids believe in, enjoy, and are thriving in their growth as followers of Jesus because of the partnership our family has with our church. As a pastor (especially a student pastor) here are some things we are doing to make sure we have balance with church and home.

• We involve our kids in the ministry we lead  >> our kids understand and are involved in much of the ministry we lead...what a great advantage. They know the volunteers we lead with. They care our events go well. They even give us feedback (on ministry ideas for kids). when our last group of seniors graduated my 8 year old cried. Why? Because she loved those teens. That is a kid who is involved and connected!
• We make sure our kids are plugged in to their weekly small groups >> This is a big deal. Our kids are a part of our church. We make sure they are growing just like we are trying to hep other teens and kids grow.
• We make sure our kids are serving with us >> Our girls know there are things we do for "work" and things we do just to serve. We involve our kids in our effort to serve our community.
• We protect our days off and take vacation >> Yep, we take days off and we use our vacation time. Days off and vacation just help our family find health. We find we need it in order to function!
• We protect 4 nights of the week to be home >> being home and being in a routine is a big deal. We have community group night, a night of the week our kids are involved in outside activities, and a night where we are doing student ministry...the other 4  are nights we try to be home. Kids need to know they matter as much or more than anything going on at church. They see where we spend our time. 
• We leave work at work >> Home is home and work is work. When we leave the office we are trying to leave our problems at the office. This is hard with technology but it has to be an effort we make every week.

Back...Rested...ready for a mission trip!

Our family had an amazing, restful, and fun vacation. The time was simply priceless. What made the 2 weeks so great...

• Time to stop...it was great to put the mac away and lay the iPhone down.
• Time to play...we had so much fun just being with the girls. Loved making memories! Also did not mind hitting the golf course several times. Played way too much Madden on the PS3 at night also. I needed a football fix.
• Time to read...got through 2 books and started a 3rd!
• Time to pray...this year it seemed like my time with God was simple and focused on listening and conversation. Great to have time just to listen.
• Time to cook...love to cook on vacation. My grill time was excellent. The fresh seafood was amazing this year.

Now we are back and leave Sunday for a mission trip with some high school students and a group of amazing small group leaders. Next week I hope to blog about mission ideas for student ministry. Looking forward to getting back to writing after the break. 

nothing like vacation...

This is going to be my view for the next few weeks. For the first time in my life we are trying to go back to back weeks at the beach. We have my family coming the first week and my wife's family the second. The great thing is we are only missing one Sunday...yea we really like our church. Honestly I am thrilled I serve at a church where I don't want to miss! Personally there is no place like the beach for me to refocus and refuel. My iPhone is loaded with new music and my Kindle has several books I am ready to attack. I will check over my email once a day but just to clean it out and only handle mission trip stuff, yep we have a mission trip the week we get back to New Orleans but our team is rocking it and getting stuff together. Other than 2 planned hours to work on some mission trip details I am ready to shut it down. Shutting it down for me means putting the blog on vacation also. Seriously thanks to everyone who checks this blog out. I love being a voice contributing to the family and student ministry movement. If you are out there and you serve the next generation I hope you take a week off this summer also. Even if you stay at home take the time. Rested leaders are better leaders who last for the long haul. Hope everyone has a great 2 weeks ahead and trust me, I will get some vacation video and pics up on Facebook!

I'm sick...did I tell you I hate being sick?

I thought I might get my 4 year old's help to let you know how I feel. I had a great post in my head but I have been sick for 3 days and just got meds from my doctor. Hope to get back at it Tuesday! I hate being sick but when my body shuts down I am reminded that I am not in control. My God sustains me. My life is a gift. Nothing should be taken from granted. Now I'm just gonna go to bed and pray these antibiotics kill this infection! Good night everyone!

15 amazing years >> thanks Chelsea Bayne!

15 years ago on Dec. 30 I married Chelsea Parks and it was the best decision I ever made. When I think back on all the memories and how God has worked in the midst of married life I am blown away. Thanks Chelsea for being patient with me, for believing in me when no one else did, for serving in the church together, for making our home a place to relax, for making me laugh, for giving me 2 amazing daughters, for pushing me to follow Christ, for not killing me when I failed Hebrew in grad school, for loving me when I did not deserve it, for making me laugh, for watching the Vols and Titans on Saturdays and Sundays, for showing our girls what a Godly woman looks like, and for being my best friend. When Chelsea and I celebrate something in our lives we travel and this week we are spending New Years in Las Vegas...we travel, that is just what we do together! Happy anniversary Chelsea, I love you!

PARENTS: change the plan and enjoy it!

Today was a change of plan day around our house. The snow came down, school got closed, and I rearranged my day to be at home for the morning. The change of plan was perfect because it allowed us to make some memories. As a parent one of the greatest things we can do for our kids is make memories with them AND make them often. I know there is an argument that quality memories are what matter most but I argue that a quantity makes a huge difference also. Why wait till vacation to do some fun stuff with your kids when you can find small ways to connect in the normal flow of life. Kids don't need extravagant they just need us to be present in the moment with them. Sledding today cost nothing for us but a rearranged schedule. I think the memory was worth it. I made a quick video of our morning...check it out!

one word that could change your family life...

The one word that could change your family life is NO. I'm not talking about saying NO more to your kids, we do that all the time! I am talking about all the other people out there that keep demanding more and more time, attention, and money from your family. This past week we had a NO moment at home. Kozbi's school planned a choir Christmas event and we had gymnastics and basketball practice planned for the girls. We told the school NO and made sure the girls honored their commitments. We could say NO to the school event because as a family we are focusing on basketball and gymnastics and we are very determined to not be the family that does "everything". I think so often families are so scared they are going to miss something that they destroy family life at home to make everyone else happy...make the school happy, the church happy, the coach happy while at the same time robbing our kids of time together. If we never choose to say NO when will we have time to play a board game, shoot basketball, bake a cake, watch a movie, or take a trip together as a family. As a family if you want to say NO more often...

• Decide what is most important // as a family choose what matters most and use that standard as a guide to saying NO.
• It's ok to have NOTHING TO DO when you choose to LEVERAGE TIME with your kids // saying NO is not a excuse for you as a parent to play golf or scrapbook more. It's ok to have nothing on the calendar as long as you build in quality and quantity time with your kids. They need to know we want to spend time with them.
• Saying NO will bring both BALANCE and CONFLICT // just know up front that saying NO will not always be easy for your kids or people around you. Balance comes with a price but in the long run it is worth it!
• Saying NO helps show kids how to manage the demands of life // we have to model wise time management for our kids. Saying NO helps kids understand how to balance the demands of life.
• Our goal is to have a healthy family and marriage NOT please everyone // why make everyone else around you happy at the expense of your relationship with your kids and spouse. Don't trade away your family life for people pleasing.

Natural Bridge State Park, KY

Here are just  a few shots from the past 2 days of hiking. Great to get away, now time to head back home.

overwhelmed

Today is the day...I turned 34 today. Spend yesterday with my wife and 2 kids at the zoo, and got to hang out that night with some of our family. Since I was out of the office and away from my normal routine I could not help but be overwhelmed by all of God's blessings. God has allowed me to be husband to Chelsea, dad to my 2 little girls, friend to so many incredible people, and pastor to some amazing teens and families at Grace Community Church in Clarksville TN. I am overwhelmed. The process of celebrating a birthday always pushes me to reflect on where I am at right now and where I need to be in the next year. I am not sure about what your goals are for your life but one of mine is really simple. I want to MAKE it through this journey with as little regret as possible. I already know I am going to make mistakes...poor choices...fail...that is all what happens in life, but I want as little regret as possible in when I am 64 as possible. I just don't want to miss God's BEST in pursuit of AVERAGE. So here is what I am asking myself this year on my birthday...

Am I HIDING from God or RUNNING toward God? // my personal pursuit of Christ matters more than anything else. Jesus I need you...I have the option to hide from you of run to you every day. I must reject spiritual apathy!

Am I SHOWING UP consistently for my family? // my wife and girls need me to lead and love them...am I showing up for them on a regular basis or am I giving them leftovers after others have taken my best

Am I still LEARNING? // am I listening to others, am I humble enough to learn from my peers, what am I reading that inspires me to think forward, am I willing to take leadership risks to learn what will be best for tomorrow

Are my DREAMS for the future better than my MEMORIES of the past? // that is from Andy Stanley and I am so grateful for the idea. When my memories are bigger than my dreams for tomorrow my time of leadership is at the end.

KOZBI is getting baptized!

This is my oldest daughter Kozbi (the picture is of us getting ready to go on a date and to the a local Father-Daughter Ball ) and this weekend my baby girl is getting baptized! Since this amazing girl was a baby her mom and I have been praying together that she would become a follower of Jesus and God answered our prayer over the past few months. We have been talking through what it means to follow Christ for about a year now and on her own she prayed to ask Christ into her life. It is amazing to see the joy and peace she has about her faith in Christ. It is the real deal and I am so thankful that God has brought salvation to my little girl. My biggest hope for both my little girls is that they would spend their life following and honoring Jesus in all they do. This Sunday she goes public with her faith as she gets baptized with about 20 other people from Grace Community. THANKS to all of you out there who have invested in Kozbi's life at FBC Clarksville, FBC Norfolk, and Grace Community Church. Kozbi thinks church is an amazing place to be and she loves Sunday mornings! Thanks to all of you who showed my little girl that following Christ was the greatest goal in life. Sunday is going to be a good day!

14 years ago...

14 years ago my life changed. God allowed my best friend to become my wife. Chelsea Bayne is the most amazing woman I know. She is an amazing mother and amazing wife. She brings so much joy to our home and wow...keeps me on track. That is a miracle in itself. Chelsea, thanks for spending your life with me. Thanks for loving Jesus with all of your heart. Thanks for helping our little girls become young ladies. Thanks for letting me play PS3 till 2 am, go to concerts, yell at the TV when the Titans or Vols play. Thanks for serving with me in ministry and pushing me to pursue Jesus first. Thanks for loving a guy who has never had it all together and helping me become the man I am. It has been an amazing 14 years and my heart is thrilled to see every day God gives us ahead. Happy Anniversary Chelsea, I love you!

what i REALLY like about Christmas...

Christmas is a big deal in my house. Decorations, parties, cooking, lights, eating, presents, church go full force this time of year for us. It got me thinking about what I like so much about November and December...

• Watching my kids count down the days till Christmas, visiting Santa, checking out the ornaments on the Christmas tree, and checking out the lights ion downtown Clarksville.
• Seeing so many former students come home from college. I miss those guys.
• The amazing Christmas service every year at GCC! It is an amazing time or worship as we celebrate the birth of Christ.
• Christmas trees...we have 6 at our house...we are addicted!
• Christmas movies...they never get old.
• Time off...yea that is great!
• Bowl games and NFL football!
• Spending a little extra time with people I love!
• Cool Christmas music...yes it is out there, you just have to look for it.
• The hope that IS the birth of Christ...that moment changed everything. God came to earth, that is amazing!

What are your favorite things about the Christmas season?

Adversity and kids (well my kids at least!)

This fall my daughter Kozbi has had to face adversity in her 1st grade class. Her teacher who she loved so much had to move to California with her husband who is in the military. For a 1st grader this is a big deal. This is ADVERSITY and this moment will shape her little life in so many ways for the good. She now has a wonderful new teacher but this challenge in her life allowed her to pray, to question, and to trust God to take care of this situation. Chelsea and I had one role to play as she walked through this situation...to walk with her, to pray with her, to see her through it. Our kids need to go through hard times. I know lots of parents try to help their kids avoid struggle at all cost but this is just not reality. Sure we protect from harm but we can never be the EASY BUTTON for our kids when adversity comes. What comes from adversity...

• We learn who we can trust (as parents we show our kids we can be trusted when trouble hits!)
• We develop character
• We learn what is really important
• We learn what prayer is really about and we discover a God who promised to be with us in the middle of life (God never promised a happy ending to every adventure)
• We learn about patience
  

Ok, those are just 5 things we discover in times of adversity but you could probably list 20 more! So thankful Kozbi reminded me this fall how adversity shapes us and makes us stronger. Jesus said...

33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NLT)

love ya MOM!

I have been blessed by God to have 2 incredible women placed in my life, let me explain...

Kay, my mom...you are amazing. Thanks for loving us as kids and supporting us as we have launched into our own adventure of parenting. You were the best MOM a kid could have, you made our home such a safe and fun place to grow up. You are the best. Thanks for loving my wife and our kids. I treasure every moment we have together and every time I see my kids hug your neck, Nana...you are the best.

Chelsea, I am amazed to watch you love our girls. You are an amazing parent and you continually shape our girls into who God has made them to be. I am blessed to call you my wife. You have made me the man I am today. Thanks for living this thing called life with me. Our family is the most blessed family in the world to have you in our life as MOM! You rock!

Happy Mothers Day!