PARENTS...never script your kid's life!

Being a parent allows you to hang out with other parents. I see so many parents trying hard to script their kids life. I even find myself wanting my girls to follow my scripted path of growing up. I want them to play certain sports, excel at certain subjects in school, and of course eat what I think they need to eat (and like it! ha!). The danger of the scripting method of parenting is that as our kids get older the scripts get harder to write and control. As parents we end up pushing to control our kids college choice, career path, and sometimes even who they date. Scripting our child's choices means we constantly fight for our way and in the end children walk away from this kind of controlling relationship. Our desire to script leads us to a lack of influence and many times a fractured relationship.

As a parent I have to continually remind myself...I am not in control. Instead of fighting for my self written script for my child's life maybe I need to pray for God's perfect plan. God gives us our children as a gift but they are not ours...they are made for a purpose. Their hearts are crafted for adventure and sometimes adventure gets messy. Sure my girls are 4 and 7 right now and they need firm direction from me. I am their protector and guide. I have to make many choices for them now, but as they age my relationship has to move from parent/authority to parent/mentor. (yep this is a process and takes time)

When it comes to parenting just remember to spend as much time praying for God to fulfill His plans for our kids as we spend crafting our own scripts for them.

Do you have a STRATEGY?

Do you have a strategy for the preschool, children, college, or student ministry you lead? Let me clarify. Do you have a unique strategic plan that helps you navigate the direction of your ministry? I am amazed at how many leaders lead with no plan...no reason for their choices other than this is the latest idea learned at a conference. Just doing ministry is not enough. Copying other ministry ideas is not enough. Implementing suggestions from you team is not enough. You need a strategy. When you become intentional with your strategy you will finally come to grips with why you do what you do in your ministry. When you slow down long enough to develop your strategy here are some things that happen naturally...

• You will be able to say NO and YES to ideas with confidence because all ideas will be filtered through your strategy. Without a strategy you will end up doing everything.
• You will know who to recruit as leaders because you will be recruiting to fulfill your strategy. 
• You will know how to budget and utilize your resources because your strategy will determine how resources are divided. 
• You will know how to manage your time. I find many leaders struggle with time management because they have no strategy to help determine what is most important.
• You will be able to lead with confidence. When it comes to strategy in ministry we must filter everything through prayer and scripture. There is a confidence that comes from knowing we have processed our ideas and searched for God's wisdom simultaneously. Our hope and strength comes from God.

Where is everybody at?

Where is everybody? Do you ever have those weeks or months in the ministry you lead? If you haven't experienced it you will. This questions arrives every year during the "slow season." Every church and ministry has these times in your calendar year when attendance slumps. For our team at Relevant Student Ministry our slow season is right now in March and April because of spring sports. In our community tons of kids are playing soccer, baseball, and running track. Sports + homework + school activities = a drain on our attendance. It happens every year and I can either recognize it...deal with it...or get frustrated. Here are some things to remember during the slow season for your ministry.

• This is why we track attendance >> if you wonder why tracking attendance is important then welcome to the slow season! The only way to determine a dip in momentum or a slow season is to have the evidence in your numbers. Slow seasons have nothing to do with poor planning or poor leadership and everything to do with outside circumstances.
• This is temporary >> remember this will be over soon...do not let a slow season get in the way of planning for what is next and creating great experiences for teens or kids. 
• Invest in who is there >> go all out, pour into the lives of those kids that are there and at the same time let the kids who are busy know you miss them (maybe go catch a game, play, or school activity). The people that are there need you to invest in them...go for it.
• Remind your team of the slow season and lead strong >> your volunteers will never remember the slow season factor so you will have to encourage them and remind them of what is going on. Slow seasons can be discouraging for volunteers so make sure and remind them what is going on!

attract a crowd or make disciples...can we do BOTH?

A friend of mine described the church they attend to me by this statement. "They (the church leadership) are just trying to make disciples, they are not worried about numbers." I am thrilled this friend has found a church where they can plug into and serve with but their description about church made me begin to process those 2 ideas...attracting a crowd vs. making disciples. You see I serve at that church who gets classified as a crowd attractor. Many times people think because of our crowd and the messiness of people we must not be concerned with moving people toward being more like Jesus. That assumption couldn't be more wrong. We are consumed with tweaking our strategy so we assure people are growing spiritually. We are also just as passionate about creating environments where people feel passionate about inviting their friends and neighbors. We are focused on investing in those who are with us and reaching our to those who are far from God simultaneously. This applies to everything we do in family ministry also. We strive to create environments where people want to be and at the same time we push, pray, and plan for forward spiritual motion. All our churches...our ministries...can be places that attract and invest. I pray we always strive to reach people AND make disciples and I pray we never stop worrying about all those people who are far from God. As Andy Stanley says, this is a tension to manage not a problem to solve.

My day with Operation Serve [School Edition]

Had the chance to work with a camera crew from The Orange Conference to capture the story of Operation Serve School Edition today. In the end 900 volunteers served 35 school in our community. Just a great reminder that when we partner with people in the community we can make a difference in the public schools in our community. It was amazing to see the church and school system partner. It was incredible to watch parents, children, and teens work together to help schools in our city. Here are a few pictures from this morning as we saw people prep for their day and our team captured the story of Op Serve School Edition from different leaders...THIS WAS AN AMAZING DAY!

a great question for MULTI-SITE family ministry

We opened our second campus around two months ago and we have been learning more and more about how to make this work with our family ministry team every week. In February I had the chance to learn from Tom Shefchunas who leads the middle school ministry at North Point with their soon to be five campus strategy in the Atlanta area. Tom and his team have been working through the multi-site strategy with his team the past few years and he helped me understand a question that would have a powerful influence in how we have been leading our multi-site teams. The question we have to continually return to is simple. Is this idea/problem/need a multi-site (global) issue or a a campus (local) issue. I know that question does not seem so profound but it cuts through tons of problems before they arise. Let me clarify...

Multi-site issues // The choices made with these issues become strategies and solutions that have to be implemented on all sites. These are the big issues that shape the direction of the entire ministry. These are choices we are not willing to compromise on so they better be big, clear, and effective.

Campus issues // these are needs that have to be solved by the campus team to help create the individual environment of that campus. Room set-up, signage, check-in location, large group implementation are just a few examples of campus issues. Every campus is going to have it's own flavor and empowering campus teams to experiment leads to innovation.

When problems arise you have to use the multi-site OR campus filter in order to empower your team, divide your resources, and provide direction effectively. We have to find a balance of global and local thinking. If you lean heavy to either side you will find your team getting off track. I am finding multi-site family ministry to be all about balance. I hope this question helps you find a little more balance as you lead your teams on different campuses!

guidelines = guardrails

Our team here at Grace Community just got done creating a new policy and procedure manual for our staff. We all saw it, we talked about it, we signed it, and we filed it away. It is simple, short, and clear about some sticky staff issues we wanted our team to embrace. I am allergic to the word policy. I have worked in the past with people who thrive in the middle of policy and that is not my style. What we created for our team is a set of staff guidelines. Guidelines sound so much better! We are now five years old as a church and I feel we just now landed at a spot where we could create our guidelines so they enhance our staff culture. I feel the same way about our family ministry team and we are just now putting many guidelines with have been living out down on paper for our staff and volunteers to see. Growth demands guidelines be put in place. The more you and your team grow the more need you will have for clear guidelines. Guidelines provide guardrails for our ministry. Here are some things healthy guildelines protect...

• Guidelines protect our volunteers >> volunteers lead with their heart! Every volunteer I have needs to know what boundaries they have. Boundaries help them not to make a mistake and also free them to move forward with passion with their role on the team.
• Guidelines protect our financial health >> money is a hard issue for any staff team. Guidelines help make sure staff and volunteers handle money well. God has given us responsibility of investing resources in order to advance the Kingdom of God. We need to handle that responsibility with care.
• Guidelines protect our relationships >> the heart of leadership lies in relationships. Healthy guidelines help protect people from making relational mistakes with the people we lead and those that lead with us. I have seen too many leaders fail morally because there were no guidelines to protect them.
• Guidelines have potential to keep us united >> the idea here is that when people know the process of communicating and have a clear understanding of their role in the organization teams have a better shot at staying united. Most staff conflict flows from a lack of clear direction and clear communication. Guidelines can help us stay connected behind a common mission and strategy.
• Guidelines can always be CHANGED >> guidelines are not eternal. When things don;t work anymore things need to be changed. Want guidelines to be effective...keep it simple, keep it clear, and always be open to change.

sunday school REFORMAT

Many student pastors lead in churches that have Sunday School. Sunday School is just the old name for Sunday morning Bible study groups. If you lead in a church with Sunday School you have to figure out how it is going to impact the students you lead. Most leaders just go through the motions knowing that the idea of Sunday mornings are not the best time to engage teenagers with much more than doughnuts to wake them up. If you are a leader in a church that has Sunday School I want to challenge you to not miss an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of teens.

Before we talk about the reformat let me make it clear that we do not have Sunday morning teen or adult Bible study groups at Grace Community Church. We feel adults connect better in homes and we want teens and adults to serve and worship on Sunday mornings as families. I had the honor of leading in four churches that were Sunday School churches and at each stop I tried to make the most of Sunday mornings with some amazing leaders. In my last Sunday School church I tried to reformat what we did on Sunday mornings knowing that our greatest influence on teens would be on Wednesday nights when we could really connect with teenagers. Here are some ideas of how to reformat Sunday School if you lead in a church that embraces the model...

• New Name >> If you call your Sunday Morning experience for teens Sunday School you are making a mistake. No teen wants to join anything with the word school in it. Call them small groups, discipleship groups, bible study groups. Brand your Sunday morning experience so your students know that Sunday mornings have a goal. Your Sunday morning experience needs a name and it's not Sunday School.
  
• New Look >> Tables and chairs with florescent lights and grey walls will never connect with this generation. If you want your Sunday morning experience to go the next level work hard to make the environment inviting. If you want to foster the idea teens are going to engage with scripture make the environment a place they want to be. Paint, furniture, art, coffee, and free labor from students go a long way to create a space they want to be on Sunday mornings.
  
• New Goals >> If you think Sunday morning is the place your teens will bring friends you are simply not in touch with this generation. Teens invite other teens to large group experiences where it is safe...not to Bible Study groups that meet at 9 AM n Sunday morning. Why not shift the aim of Sunday morning from evangelism to spiritual growth. Focus on teens that are there. Build relationships of significance. Invest in teens to the point they are ready to not be in your Sunday morning environment but rather leading a middle school small group or working in the preschool area!
  
• New Leadership >> When it comes to Sunday mornings you need to find out who your best teachers/speakers are and who your small group leaders are. If someone is going to teach they better have the skills to teach. Small group leaders better have the ability to connect and ask questions. If you are going to reformat your Sunday morning experience you better rethink who you need leading. Also know if you are doing Sunday morning groups well you probably will not be able to groups at other times of the week. FOCUS and let your leaders make an area excellent!

A few things I wish someone had told me at age 23

I can't believe it...I am 35. In March I had another birthday and like every year got to turn another year older. As I turn 35 I have also been serving as a pastor (children, youth, family pastor) for 12 years (15 if you include three years volunteering, those were great years!). Turning 35 is a big deal and it drove me to be a little introspective over the last few weeks. I am working through what is next for me as a pastor, a dad, and a husband. I am also processing the journey behind me and trying to extract as many life lessons as possible. As I look back there are a few things I wish leaders had of told me. In my time in ministry I have had to learn how to serve in the established church and rethink what church could be all at the same time. In the middle of this process here are a few things no one every told me...

• You are going to move and serve in several church environments >> I was 23 when I took my first full time position. Guess what...I have moved several times over the years and served at several different churches and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. For some reason as I moved from ministry to ministry I felt guilty. Now at age 35 I realize that God was shaping me into the leader I am today. I could not stay at any of the churches I was at because God was shaping my heart as a leader. No leader ever told me that was just part of the process of growth.

• Education pays off down the road >> As I was getting my education I was miserable. No leader ever told me that was NORMAL. Now on this side of things I see how important my education was. There is not a week that goes by that as I study or think that my education is not critical. So glad I finished. It is more than just a piece of paper, it is a launching pad for personal growth down the road.

• Pastor / Staff relationships always have tension >> After 12 years in church staff I have served with some amazing pastors. Guess what...there is always tension. I now serve with one of my best friends (Chad Rowland) and a mentor (Ron Edmondson) and their role as pastor still brings occasional tension. I wish someone had of told me to just be ready for it. Your pastor is going to make choices you don't dig so you better learn how to let go and get on board.

• Relationships are the heart of leadership >> When we are young we want the title and the responsibility. No one every told me that the title just gives an opportunity to build relationships of significance. Leadership is relational. Spending time building relationships, listening to others, and being available is priceless for young leaders.

• Slow down and celebrate what God is doing >> As young leaders we feel so responsible to be change agents that we often move to the next thing without celebrating what God is doing. It is so important to slow down every once in a while and simply give thanks. Conferences, vacation time, and sabbath days are critical times for young leaders to slow down and process. Use them and do not feel guilty for setting aside the time.

Sign up for Op Serve SCHOOL EDITION

April 9th we hope to have hundreds of people volunteering in all 35 schools in our public school district. Operations Serve School Edition invites the community to participate with our church in landscaping, painting, cleaning, and completing other things the school needs done, but the budget simply can’t provide. The schools are compiling lists now and materials are being acquired.
To accomplish such a large task, we are also partnering with 5 Star Radio Group. They are providing publicity to recruit volunteers and providing tremendous moral support the day of the event with live remotes.

Besides the fact that we meet in a school…actually two schools…and doing a church our size and age would be very difficult without this partnership with our school system, it makes sense to invest in our schools this way because:

We love our schools. Our church and community are blessed with teachers, administrators and support staff who love the children and youth of our community. They are helping to build the future of our community. They need our support.

We love our community. Our church exists because the community exists. Everyone in our community may not all come to our church, but all our church lives among this community. We want to do anything we can do to support the community in which we live.

We love families. Families are a large part of who we are at Grace and the bulk of families in our community attend public schools.

We love God and others. We are called to be in the world, meeting real needs where we find them. That’s the example of Jesus.

Come join us in Operation Serve School Edition. If you live in the area, you can sign up HERE.